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This Was Never Meant To Be Permanent, Vol. 1

by Eric Clow

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1.
My New Chair 02:46
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How do you like my new chair? I got it last week at the disrepair I’d love to never share The prizes that I won at the country fair And if I could go to anywhere I’d pick this spot right here And let those years go passing by Until the time is right to die Each morning brings a better day It thunders only miles away Smells of spring in the night The birds always take into the sky And if I could go to anywhere I’d pick this spot right here And let those years go passing by Until the time is right to die
2.
Nothing Like a Friend 03:22
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Music is my heroin I can always laugh about it But when I see you in the club I shiver Climb into a glass behind your eyes ‘Cause there's nothing like a friend To make you feel like you're the only one I crawl into the restroom And I trust that you won't find me here I slip and slide on tiled ice And scratch my neck on countertops To knock the feeling loose ‘Cause there's nothing like a friend To make you feel like you're the only one Well here's your friend You met him last week Driving back from such a break He's a corporate employee And he's ever so successful at his firm Oh there's nothing like a friend To make you feel like you're the only one I've spent my time on laziness Spreading couches thin and bare My parents think I've had enough They're threatening to cut me off for good It's been so nice to see you And I wish your friend great luck with his work You've always been a looker And I hope I get to see you again ‘Cause there's nothing like a friend To make you feel like you're the only one I step into the darkness And unfurl my last cigarette It's damp tonight But I’ve got a light to guide me back
3.
Accept It (Featuring Milton Sullivan) 03:05
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I’m tired of waiting Things are passing me by I did what I had to And now I’m starting to try I won’t figure it out I won’t comprehend All the wrong that’s happened here So let’s not pretend Just accept it Accept it And go on Accept it Accept it And be strong I don’t know what that means But I can look inside Develop a picture And regain my pride So I take a deep breath my friend And control of my life Forget about past things And start to thrive Accept it Accept it And go on Accept it Accept it And be strong
4.
Anniversary 04:19
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I love her but she just ignores me Whenever I’m around her She’s lovely, she has an awful temper She’s always cursing my name When she comes walkin' my direction I tell her I’ll just buy the cream for my coffee It lifts my heart to a new dimension It satisfies my craving for the toxic way she treats me Today’s our anniversary I know that I’ll be with her She’s the dream that keeps on giving Even though it's a nightmare She’s got blue eyes I know that's just a filter She always wears the same damn sweater It’s got her name and her number That she blacked out for me I’m not crazy I’m just mighty lonely I could use some protection from the cold in her eyes Today’s our anniversary I know that I’ll be with her She’s the dream that keeps on giving Even though it's a nightmare I quit smoking for her last birthday But she says that I forced her back to it And now I’m just an outcast Just another sad man she kicked to the curb She’s hard to date Even harder to leave All the men that she left now sleep on medication Their eyes never dry from the sheer devastation Today’s our anniversary I know that I’ll be with her She’s the dream that keeps on giving Even though it's a nightmare (I love to hate that way that she hates me)
5.
Interlude 01:20
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6.
I'm Just Sitting Here 05:28
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I am just sitting here Got my lines to say And people to save Oh I I am just sitting here Telling my jokes To all kinds of folks And I could use more time And the wind will blow And the sun will shine for me Back in the light of day I am just sitting here Lost in love And out of luck I can’t stand this empty feeling I am just sitting here Fightin’ to stay awake And the sleep that always takes Away my time And the wind will blow And the sun will shine for me Back in the light of day
7.
Whiskey Sours 04:36
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Well I've been sippin’ whiskey sours in the backyard I took a can of spray paint to my neighbor's car And I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I said I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I’ve been cryin’ in the kitchen with an ice cream Oglin’ the pictures in a magazine And I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I said I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good Lots of drinkin’ margaritas and I'm feeling sick I’ve been tryin’ hard to care but I'm still a dick And I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I said I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I’ve been writin’ up these lyrics in my living room And eatin’ fried chicken from the city zoo And I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I said I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I've been talkin’ to my mama on the telephone I told her I quit pot but I'm kinda stoned And I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good I said I know it's not the best thing for me but it feels good Now my girl's gone sour, says she's gonna leave It's true she can't compete with all these other needs And I know they’re not the best things for me but they feel good I said I know they’re not the best things for me but they feel good
8.
Touch Me Someplace I Can Feel 02:43
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Broken veins and broken needles I'm too tired to make a fist Charlie Manson sings the Beatles I should have known it would end like this Stick it deep and light my candles Help yourself to my last meal I've had all that I can handle Touch me someplace I can feel In my dreams I'm in the desert I feel the fever of a scorpion sting It's a burning fire and it creeps like ether Feels so good when it warps everything Life is hard but death is worth it Nothing's certain and nothing's real Give me something cheap but perfect Touch me someplace I can feel The night wind wails and the window crashes It blows my eyes out as I cling to the drape The nurse is tired and her feet are aching She's got better things to do with her tape Oh sweet Jane my faithless daughter Use your blues and let's get real When I walk I'll walk on water Touch me someplace I can feel

about

These songs were all written during a period of my life that was defined by a lack of direction, and loss - the loss of friends and family members, the disintegration of relationships, the deterioration of bodies and spirits, and even, at times, the loss of my mind.

"My New Chair" is feeling good about where you are and not wanting that moment to end. "Nothing Like a Friend" is the inadequacy you feel around friends who seem to have it all figured out.

The cover of "Accept It" is a tribute to Milton Sullivan, a good friend we lost in August, and the first of many Milton covers to come. Through keeping his music and memory alive, I hope to make up for the times I was too scared or caught up in my own mind to reach out and help a friend in need. I covered "Accept It" first because I listened to the song when I heard of Milton's passing, and it felt like he was singing directly to me from another world, telling me to accept what had happened and to be strong, to accept myself and know that there are some things I cannot change.

"Anniversary" is about the problematic relationships we stay in because sometimes a bad dream is better than no dream at all. "I'm Just Sitting Here" is the wasted time spent sitting around, unsure what to do but still aware that time ticks away regardless of what you choose. "Whiskey Sours" is an ode to the bad behaviors we indulge to cope with the loneliness of being.

The final song, a cover of John Callahan's "Touch Me Someplace I Can Feel," is a fan letter to one of my biggest inspirations, not because he was a guy in a wheelchair living an ordinary life, but because he had a persistence and belief in his art that would knock almost any other creative person dead. He seemed to be (maybe not at first, but certainly after a while) immune to the horrors of rejection and criticism. And for that, I admire his spirit and will continue to tell everyone I know about a guy named John Callahan.

All together, these songs help me to remember that none of this was ever intended to be permanent. Hopefully, they will help you to remember that, too.

credits

released December 24, 2015

Eric Clow - Lead Vocals, Piano, Keyboard, Dobro
Felipe Archer - Bass, Guitar, Organ, Keyboard, Ukulele, Drums, Percussion, Vibes
Nolan Calvert - Guitar, Backing Vocals
Ryan Simmons - Backing Vocals
Carolyn Somes - Backing Vocals
Nicole Cortichiato - Art

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Eric Clow Austin, Texas

Eric Clow is an Austin-based artist torn between a classic rock past and dissonant future. He uses a mixture of humor, sincerity, and slightly off-key vocals to deliver thoughtful personal tunes.

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