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This Was Never Meant To Be Permanent, Vol. 2

by Eric Clow

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1.
I’m sorry everybody I’m goin’ out of town I don’t think I can beat them My time is running out I’m sorry everybody For what I have done You know I didn’t mean it To spoil all your fun I’m sorry everybody I didn’t mean to cheat But she was just so sexy You know I can’t stand the heat And if you really want me You’ll have to call me out There ain’t no fire you can’t put out I’m sorry everybody Were my calculations wrong? Well I never went to college Lord knows I can’t count I’m sorry everybody My trash was not put out I slept all through the weekend I didn’t even pout And if you really want me You’ll have to call me out There ain’t no fire you can’t put out And if you really want me You’ll have to call me out There ain’t no fire you can’t put out And if you really want me You’ll have to call me out There ain’t no fire you can’t put out
2.
Amends 04:17
Maybe on a cloudy day We can make amends For what we've done to each other Maybe out on the plains When all of the stars Start fading away Maybe in your truck You’ll find some way to forget about her I can't tell you why she couldn't take it anymore She had to go on her own Maybe some painful memory Maybe something else I couldn't tell you I don't know if you would understand
3.
4.
On My Way 03:59
You know I always thought that You were so smart How could I be so stupid? How could I be so clueless, lady? You know I always thought that You were so charming I should have known better Yeah I should have known that You would change Oh I see you But I don’t need you By my side You know I always thought that I was so starving For your affection How was I so misled? You know I always thought that We were so lucky We were only winning And now the game has changed And I can see you But I don’t need you By my side I can see you But I don’t need you By my side I was only on my way Yes I was only on my way Yes I was only on my way Yes I was only on my way Yes I was only on my way Yes I was only on my way
5.
The Fire 04:26
When I find myself lost Inside my thoughts I go right back To the town where I was raised I'm still afraid that it's all gone The fire burns in my heart 'Cause I am just far enough out of reach Wish I could take all those words That I had said and settle down But don't you know there's no going back To where you're from, it's turning black Now your parents are older, they need care Like a crack in your skull time can't repair So I pray that there's a God And that he has enough time for me Forget what I want Just give me all of the things that I need An endless road, a sea of green Pine and redwood trees The waves crash on the beach They wake me up from this terrible dream But don't you know there's no going back To where you're from, it's turning black Now your parents are older, they need care Like a crack in your skull time can't repair Oh don't you know there's no going back To where you're from, it's turning black Now your parents are older, they need care Like a crack in your skull time can't repair Oh don't you know there's no going back To where you're from, it's turning black Now your parents are older, they need care Like a crack in your skull time can't repair
6.
A...lone 02:57
7.
There’s a feeling that I get When my blood turns into sweat I haven’t had too much to drink But I start to lose my shit And no matter what I do No matter what I say I could only lose you I could only use you As we stand at the door You run your hands through my hair I try to pull you close to me But you’re still a thousand miles away We know the same misfortunes We know the same malaise You lift up your eyes to me Then your lips go to my ear I remember how you felt How my body seemed to melt Into your fingers But I don’t linger in your dreams You know the time sucks the minutes And those powers from my thoughts The darkness slips into my bones I think that I could disappear I think that I was bare To your soul and all the prayers That I dipped in candle wax And the church crept through the ashes But I don’t live here anymore I don’t live here anymore I don’t live here anymore I don’t live here anymore I don’t live here anymore I don’t live here anymore
8.
You’re twenty-five, it’s no surprise You don’t feel all right Your dreams have left you so far behind Now the light doesn’t shine anymore for you It’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day The world is hard on you There’s nothing you can do And all your friends they say, “Happy birthday to you” All the day and through the night You wait by candlelight Some things will change, some never do And everyone’s looking at you ‘Cause it’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day It’s your birthday so have a good day
9.
Oooh baby you make me feel like an able-bodied man Oooh baby you extinguish all my worldly pain You make me wanna stand up And kiss you in the rain You know I really need that To get myself through the day You know what I need in the morning You know what I need at night You know what I need when everything Seems to fade away Oooh baby you make me feel like an able-bodied man Oooh baby you believe that I really, really can You make me wanna change my selfish ways Baby I’ll do anything that you say When I fall down on my knees Your kindness is all I see You know what I need in the morning You know what I need at night You know what I need when everything Seems to fade away

about

This volume continues to explore themes of loss and change, both lyrically and musically – it begins with three songs I wrote on guitar, progresses through songs I wrote on a keyboard after losing the ability to play guitar, and ends with a song I wrote completely in my head, without a physical instrument. If nothing else, I hope you will at least find comfort knowing that no matter what you lose, you gain something in return; with the loss of each ability, there is some creative way to continue what you were able to do before. You can always adapt.

“Sorry Everybody” is proudly acknowledging your self-destructive behaviors. “Amends” is the hope and uncertainty you feel about reconnecting with someone who hurt you.

“Elevator Down” grew out of the frustration I felt when the power elevator on my wheelchair broke and I lost my independence for several days until it was fixed. “On My Way” is coming out of a failed relationship but finding consolation knowing it's just one of a lifetime of relationships and each one helps shape who you are.

I wrote “The Fire” for my family and friends impacted by the 2015 Valley Fire that devastated Middletown, CA. I felt powerless being halfway across the country while the fire raged, so I turned to my keyboard. I wanted to write a song about the fire and let people know about the pain and loss my hometown friends were experiencing. By destroying old forests, homes, and lives, fires sever our links to the past. The more I thought about the fire, the more I thought about how my entire life was changing – how my body was growing weaker, how the optimism and energy of my youth was dissipating, how my parents were aging – and how it was impossible to turn anything around.

“A…lone” is the tension and loneliness you feel after a fight with a lover. You go off to be alone and stew in negativity, but eventually you grow to see your lover’s point of view and recognize your own faults that contributed to the argument. Ultimately you decide to return home and work it out. The song is about the ups and downs of loving someone. “Don't Live Here” is about a doomed infatuation you can't help but see to its ugly end.

“Birthday Song” is recognizing that your life never goes quite as planned. You arrive at each age far from where you expected to be. “Able-Bodied Man” is about the precarious situation of falling in love with a personal care attendant.

credits

released September 8, 2018

Eric Clow - Vocals, Keys
Felipe Archer - Bass, Guitars, Keys, Drums, Percussion
Carolyn Somes - Backing Vocals on “Sorry Everybody”
Ignacio Zas - Guitar on “A...lone”
Nicole Cortichiato - Art
Brad Bell - Mixing and Mastering
Pablo Escalante - Recording Assistant and Vocal Coach

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Eric Clow Austin, Texas

Eric Clow is an Austin-based artist torn between a classic rock past and dissonant future. He uses a mixture of humor, sincerity, and slightly off-key vocals to deliver thoughtful personal tunes.

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